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Reflections 
                 from ​Insiders & Outsiders ​

IGNITE YOUR INNER LIGHT

2/3/2019

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Freedom Fighters,
It's been a whirlwind of GOOD things happening; we have been trying to keep up! That's a beautiful challenge to have, isn't it.... we'll do our best to catch you all up. Things like, Sara's Law dropping in 2 states, Sara writing and performing her monologue on stage as part of Eve Ensler's famous Vagina Monologues-- a monologue, a rant & prayer to end violence against women. Imagine, Sara got to tell HER STORY, HER WAY & on a stage! There wasn't a dry eye in the house. It's was magical. It was healing. It was transformative. It was simply, powerful. The show literally SOLD OUT before we could utter a word about it. We promise, more is to come! #IamSJK is just getting started. 

​Word
of
the
​Month:
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Ignite From the ​Inside Out: 
​
Your Inner Flame
Back when Sara was going through all she did, remember that the term "Human Trafficking" didn't even exist yet! Therefore, she wasn't seen as a victim. No one ever asked her, what happened to her. 
 Once Sara was found suitable for parole and returned home as a citizen, as a survivor of all her childhood trauma, being trafficked, and getting through 20-years of prison . . . there was still something missing. There was no "I'm sorry that happened to you"...no apology from society... no one to say "I'm really sorry that our community (which consists of first responders, doctors, nurses, teachers, principals, guidance counselors, neighbors, adults everywhere) ....sorry, we didn't catch you, sorry that the social safety net, well, failed you." You aren't provided any apology. You are free to go, well sort of. *You are free, on parole and have a lot of check in's and asks to make. 
That's where
Sara's Law comes in....
 We can ignite ourselves from the inside-out. We can find creative ways to bring the innermost healing to OURSELVES and OTHERS! What does your inner flame need you to take action on in your life? 
Read About Sara's Law
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Sara's Law 
​

A PUBLIC APOLOGY
CAN COME IN THE FORM OF POLICY.        - Sara Kruzan

WHAT  IS 
​ONE  BILLION RISING?

One Billion Rising is the biggest mass action to end violence against women (cisgender, transgender, and those who hold fluid identities that are subject to gender-based violence) in human history. The campaign, which launched on Valentine’s Day 2012, began as a call to action based on the staggering statistic that 1 in 3 women on the planet will be beaten or raped during her lifetime. With the world population at 7 billion, this adds up to more than ONE BILLION WOMEN AND GIRLS.
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Watch the Facebook Live 

Vagina Monologues feat. Sara Kruzan

Posted by I am SJK on Saturday, February 16, 2019
This VM event was truly full circle for us. The SJK team participated with Carla Nell & InnerMission Productions in a One Billion Rising event in downtown San Diego, sharing Sara's plight for freedom while RISING. Simultaneously, while yet a resident of CCWF (the largest Women's prison in America) Sara ​was leading a RISING for justice behind the walls. The women spoke, danced, and each wrote what they were "rising" for on the back of a hand crafted globe. Sara then mailed the globes to Carrie, who took them to the California State Capital spelling out HONOR DORM 512 outside Gov. Jerry Brown's office, prior to having a meeting with him. And here we are, years later, Sara's free. . .writing, performing- we were are all together in SOLIDARITY, in person, NO cement prison walls.....TRANSFORMING HEARTACHE INTO HOPE in the Black Box in the Diversionary Theater. 
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Ignite 
From
the
​Inside
​
Out: ​
Rise
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Carrie Christie with Sara's- friend-from-CCWF-Loraine (Raine)'s-Mom, Eve Ensler, Loraine's daughter, Susan Burger at a LA VDAY event
1 in 3 women
across the planet will be beaten or raped during her lifetime. That’s ONE BILLION WOMEN AND GIRLS. Every February, we rise – in countries across the world –
to show our local communities and the world what one billion looks like and shine a light on the rampant impunity and injustice that survivors most often face. We rise through dance to express joy and community and celebrate the fact that we have not been defeated by this violence. We rise to show we are determined to create a new kind of consciousness – one where violence will be resisted until it is unthinkable.
 
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So, back to Sara's Law: we're excited to announce Sara has a Law! It's a first-of-its-kind legislation to protect victims of child sex trafficking and sexual abuse, who commit crimes against their traffickers and abusers!​ In January, Hawaii State Representative John Mizuno has introduced Sara's Law HB.932. And February brought A.B. 158 to the state of Nevada thanks to Assemblymembers Hambrick, Krasner, Elliso, Kramer, Leavitt and Wheeler. 

Self-defense laws don’t always apply in cases like Sara's, because the acts may involve premeditation. This has been a sticking point in the law that "Sara's Law" would address, so that judges have more options or greater flexibility when handling cases where child sex trafficking victims have hurt or killed their abusers.

Sara had this to say about the introduction of her bill:

"For me, this bill is a recognition that the harm inflicted upon me as a child was a moral wrong and that society is working to rectify that wrong. If as a 16 year old child I was treated with the empathy, compassion and human kindness envisioned by Representative Mizuno's bill, I would not have endured nearly 20 years of unjust incarceration. This bill is about igniting hope in others and making a clear statement that our justice system will no longer allow such injustices to be imposed on child victims of sex abuse and sex trafficking."

Compassion Fatigue

​Bodily symptoms of empathy​

​Compassion fatigue, also known as secondary traumatic stress (STS), is a condition characterized by a gradual lessening of compassion over time. Scholars who study compassion fatigue note that the condition is common among workers who work directly with victims of disasters, trauma, or illness, especially in the healthcare industry. Professionals in other occupations are also at risk for experiencing compassion fatigue, e.g. attorneys, child protection workers and veterinarians. Other occupations include: therapists, child welfare workers, nurses, radiology technologists, teachers, journalists, psychologists, police officers, paramedics, emergency medical technicians (EMTs), firefighters, animal welfare workers and health unit coordinators. Non-workers, such as family members and other informal caregivers of people who are suffering from a chronic illness, may also experience compassion fatigue. It was first diagnosed in nurses in the 1950s.
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People who experience compassion fatigue can exhibit several symptoms including hopelessness, a decrease in experiences of pleasure, constant stress and anxiety, sleeplessness or nightmares, and a pervasive negative attitude. This can have detrimental effects on individuals, both professionally and personally, including a decrease in productivity, the inability to focus, and the development of new feelings of incompetency and self-doubt. 
​
Journalism analysts argue that news media have caused widespread compassion fatigue in society by saturating newspapers and news shows with decontextualized images and stories of tragedy and suffering. This has caused the public to become desensitized or resistant to helping people who are suffering. 

​
Ignite From the ​Inside Out: 
​
Connection & Community​
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Topic of the month: ​
Childhood Trauma
​I invite you into Rays reflective moment as she shares 
  
Dearest Friends,
​

Today Rachael called from Central California Women's Facility...the largest women's prison in the nation. And as I heard her voice recorded on the other side of the phone...the heavy pause before Gtel connected us...My heart dropped. What I heard and innately recognized in Rachael's voice was ever too familiar. Deep inhale, bracing for the next 13 minutes laced with unexpected and random automated  intrusive interruptions; interruptions clearly put into place to dehumanize the persons making a connection, with intent to remind me i was talking to an inmate in a correctional facility. And then there she was. Rachael on the brink of tears. A childlike ache in her voice unsure she was valid, human worthy to even dare ask her inquires.

Hi Ray, I said with my best cheery voice! How are you? Cordial formalities may have only added to our decades of moral injury.
​

Ray is present after a few minutes of surface interpersonal engagement. The trauma runs deep...unheard and unidentified trauma is ever present in her voice.

Sara, I need to understand why I push everyone away. Why do I feel and think no matter what I do I will never get out of here? My mind is in pain. Whats wrong with me? I've been here for awhile, look at the ….
Unable to finish her thoughts in a sentence, silence hugged us both through our assaultive connection devise…

Mental and emotional paralyzed silence...

Another  oppressive and intentional automated assaultive reminder is being injected into our moral being.

I understand Ray... was able to escape from my lips. Silence...internal weeping for us both. A sisterhood of understanding unable to be defined was ever present. Rays  inner child seeking understanding.

There isn't anything in here to help me understand the impacts of my childhood trauma! My dad sent me books, I have 4 four books on childhood trauma and you know what Sara? I am going to create my own curriculum! Because we all need it in here! I hear the girls in the groups and so many childhood wounds!

I need to understand my childhood trauma! I need to understand how I am  here! What happened to us in our lives as children, because in Ms. Herions group, the Real therapy group...I am hearing so much about why I am this way!!! Whats wrong with me?

Ray is in tears again...as she speaks her truth she becomes aware of her ability to reconnect and be present. Holding meaningful space with her pain inflicted upon her by the adults in her life leaves her breathing shallow. We share space infused with a basic human need to connect.

Hushed silence, phone still in my hand against my ear...I close my eyes.  So intentionally present while in the moment with Rachael, intentionally present and aware of the human connection, we no longer were aware of the assaultive interruptions.

Interesting, maybe that's what happens in the child's overall being when the body or the mind protects itself from abuse.

Then the sudden slice of an abrupt disconnection o n the phone.

Ray as an adolescent contributed to an act of violence which lead to her mother losing her life…now Ray is serving a life sentence...seeking the understanding which lead to her act of violence. Ray is close to 30 years biologically, however her inner child has arrested itself long before our criminal justice system did. Ray has embodied fears, infused her skin with an undefinable anguish, a kaleidoscope of  insecurities exhaust her mental being, all the while her brain; as it's designed to evolve, cannot make sense her unacknowledged childhood toxic stress.

Alone with racy thoughts...there ran  a common denominator throughout them all. The common thread is this:  conditions imposed on ourselves and or others is a reflection of one's soul.

Imprisoning children who have been deeply impacted by another's  violence, prior to that child inflicting violence on another, clearly is a true testament to the heart of America. That means your heart, people you know hearts…
Are not our  laws dictated by the quality of people closest to them? Ask yourself What or who really is the root of our violence?

In the meantime...Ray we stand with you! We walk alongside you! As a mother, I deeply apologize to your heart and soul. We see you and wish to empower in you the fortitude needed to Ignite your truth!

There just aren't enough safe spaces  in an incarceration institution to truly identify with the choices which lead us to a violent act. In fact, we are introduced to another level of oppression. Slavery really under definition and underscoring within our California Constitution. In fact, the hand off within the institutions is reckless and negligent. Violent and intentional.  From first hand experience may we communicate and connect.   
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​How will you use
the word ​Ignite

in the month of February? 


  1. I will ignite life today by ________!
  2. I will ignite my passion by_______ !
  3. Today, I will ignite healing change by _________!
  4. Together, we can ignite wellness within ourselves and others by doing __________ and _________!
  5. I will ignite determination by _____________.
  6. I will ignite the light within by _________________.
  7. As a community,  we can ignite inspiration in one another by _________.

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C.C.W.F. 
Cheesecake  

Bake at your own risk.
(popular at birthday and going home parties)
Ingredients:
  • 1 six-oz. package of Graham Crackers, Vanilla Wafers or Oreos or whatever cookie you have!
  • 4-6 pats of margarine (grab from dining hall)
  • 1 can of sprite, a quick pour enough to blend and smooth out creamer
  • 6 oz. of Instant Coffee Flavored Creamer of choice
  • 1/2 c. lemon juice (more to taste)


To prepare: 
  1. Line the plastic container with crushed graham crackers
  2. ​Mix together creamer, sprite and whip until smooth yet a little thick in consistency
  3. Pour mix on top of graham crackers
  4. Chill on ice for 1/2 hour or in a window that is pretty chilly over night​
Optional: top with packets of jam, dehydrated fruit or drizzle with chocolate
​

Cooking with love on the inside! 
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Brightly Yours, 
Sara, Carrie & Sufiyah 

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